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Maybe you could have experienced that your sex life is not as good as you wish, maybe you and your wife can’t get the satisfaction you want when you are together, maybe it could happen to you that you can not get the kind of erections you want or you have not enough stamina to make it to the end. This kind of problem is shared by lots of men which can not keep an erection long enough to satisfy their partner, or perhaps they finish much before their women and they are completely tired after the first time and can not go for a second round leaving their partner wishing for more, which eventually can become more and more annoying.
A solution to consider would be taking pills, but truth is, pills just are not for everyone. There are some guys which can not tolerate pills, do not like taking them, or simply forget to take medications regularly. But if you have problems like erectile dysfunction, small penis size and poor self-image, you don’t have to suffer any more, here is the solution to your problem, the Maxiderm penis patch, this amazing product allows you to get a bigger size, longer erections, a great stamina and recovery and a general and notorious improvement in each aspect of your sexual performance.
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The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. On the other side, there are those who say that not enough education is being done in the home and that the schools need to step up and do the right thing by kids.
To further the debate and increase its complexity is the question about what exactly kids need to know and when. President Bush has issued his own view on the matter by granting government funding for those schools and programs that provide “abstinent only” education, meaning that there is no discussion about anything but abstaining from sex until marriage. Many people believe, and most research proves, that this message severely short changes children and could potentially set them up for making bad and or even life threatening decisions.
Many parents that I talk to believe in comprehensive education (talking about all aspects of sex and sexuality including abstinence), and are always comforted to hear that research is firm in showing that kids want to hear it from their parents and often make better choices when they have had those parental conversations.
But…..parents as sex educators…. This prospect for some is almost as frightening as the concept of kids having sex. Take it from me; it doesn’t have to be frightening. There is so much information available that anyone, even parents, can do a great job. There are just a few things to keep in mind in order to be successful.
A. Be honest and open. The rule is that if a kid asks a question, he got the idea from somewhere and needs to have an age appropriate response. Ignoring the question or telling a child that he/she shouldn’t be asking about such things sends the message that certain questions are off limits and they will take those questions elsewhere, school friends for example, who don’t always have the correct answers or have the family values that you would want articulated in mind. Keep in mind the "age appropriate" part of this tip. As parents we don't want our kids to know to much to soon, but developmentally, they may be more advanced and ready to hear more than you think. If you aren't sure, look it up.
B. It is ok to share your values and morals and what you expect for your family. I think that often parents feel like they can’t express their own expectations for their children when they educate about sexuality. You can talk about methods of pregnancy and disease prevention at the same time that you are talking about abstinence and relationship building. One is not exclusive of the other.
C. It is also ok to set limits and boundaries where you need. Talking about a penis in the middle of the grocery store is not appropriate. Those types of situations can easily be handled by telling a child that his or her question is valid and important, but would be much better dealt with at home. The thing to remember here is that you must go back to your child with the question when you said you would. Thinking that your child will just forget and you’ll be off the hook does nothing for your credibility. And trust me, your kids will not forget, they will just remind you that you forgot when it suits their needs.
D. Often times a parent will get a question about a topic or a situation that they are not comfortable with or have very little information about. It is critical for parents to know and believe that they do not have to be experts in sex education. They must be able to, however, know their limits and know where to get the resources they need to refer their children for the right answers. It is also ok to admit to your child that you aren’t the best person to talk about this topic, but that you know the person who is.
E. As difficult as it may be, it is also important to completely understand what your child is asking and why he/she is asking the question. I heard a story once that a little girl asked her Dad what secs was. Hearing this, Dad automatically assumed that she was asking about sex and went into his whole birds and bees lecture. When he was finished he asked his daughter why she had asked the question. The young daughter stated that mom said that dinner would be done in a couple of secs. She just wanted to know what that meant. Clarifying the question is vital to making sure that you are answering their questions thoroughly and completely.
F. Bone up on your own education. It is not enough that your children know about the latest method of birth control, you should also know. Know what it is that kids are talking about and thinking about when it comes to sexuality. Go to teen websites, read teen magazines, have conversations with your kids. The more information you have the better you can educate your kids.
G. Take advantage of teachable moments. Kids won’t always want to talk to their parents. Especially if you haven’t set up your home environment this way. So you may have to bring up a subject out of the blue. Use situations that you see on television shows or articles that you have read to get kids opinions. Ask them what they think. Share with them what you think and why. For example, you are watching the latest episode of The Bachelor. Ask you child how they feel about having intimate relationships with so many people in such a short time. Discuss the messages that you think the show sends, find out what messages your child is receiving. How do they feel about group dates? Anything to open up those lines of communication.
So, what do you do when the big day comes and your child asks you a tough question? You can start by using the C.A.L.M. method of answering.
C- Clarify the question. Ask the child why the question is being asked. Where did the topic come up? What does the child know about the topic or what does he/she think the answers are. This will definitely make sure that you are staying on the right track.
A- Answer the question basically. I like to think about building blocks when answering tough questions. You start with the most basic answer and then build on that answering from the next level and so on. Try to avoid the tendency to lecture. Kids, especially young ones, rarely listen to a long explanation; they only are listening for they think they want to hear. This could become problematic in that kids will not hear the correct answer or they will interpret incorrectly what you have said.
L- Listen to your child response. By answering basically you allow your child to let you know if he/she got the complete answer they were looking for. If they ask you another question, you know you need to go to the next building block. Don’t forget to watch for body language too. Some children may not have the words to ask more questions. But you know your child and you will know when his body language shows that he isn’t clear or in completion with your answer.
M- Motivate your child to continue to feel comfortable to ask more questions. Letting kids know that you are a safe person to come back to and that you will continue to answer their questions will keep them doing so.
We all want to do what is best for our kids, and for most of us, their safety is priority one. Use these tips to approach sexuality education in your own home with confidence!
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Feminism might be on the rise but you just cannot beat the fact that the obsession with an hourglass figure is equally pervasive in female minds. It is thus no wonder that more and more women are submitting themselves under the surgeon’s scalpel and amongst the plethora of cosmetic cures, breast enhancement rules the roost. Breast enhancement involves the enlargement of the breast via surgery or various other non surgical modes.
The enhancement of the breast via surgery involves implanting saline, silicone gel or hydrogel either beneath the breast, or through the areola or axilla. The surgery is over within an hour and fifteen minutes and you can return home the same day.
Postoperative care is simple enough. You only need to take cold packs to lessen the swelling and if required, some drugs to abate the uneasiness. The scars lighten gradually and you can resume your normal routine within 3-4 weeks. Breast implants are safe for lactating mothers as well. However there have been cases of leakages, hardening of the breast, infection and loss of nipple sensation following breast implants.
Though not proven to cause breast cancer, surgical breast enhancement technique has its vehement protestors. Not wanting to go through the rigors of a surgery and desiring an alternative to the artificial look and feel of a breast implant, more and more women are turning towards non surgical breast enhancement methods like the pill, pump, cream or a special brassiere.
Amongst these, natural breast enhancement modes like the herbal pill are fast gaining appeal. The pill, should however be taken with extreme caution for the market and the Internet is flooded with cons which actually do more harm than good. After you spot the right pill, you need to follow certain lifestyle guidelines to ensure prompt results.
While you are on the pill, avoid caffeine and carbohydrates. A protein-rich diet is known to catalyze the effects of the breast enlargement pill. Do not go on a pill popping spree. Religiously adhere to the dosage prescribed by the medical practitioner. It is said that the pill in combination with a breast enhancement cream or gel always produces a synergistic effect.
Amongst the other non surgical breast augmentation modes, the pump has created quite a stir with some women claiming increase in their breast size by as much as two cups. The pump works by a suction method wherein the breast is pulled outwards. Regular use of the pump brings about cellular growth, thereby increasing the breast size.
Detractors however claim that the pump has only a temporary effect and is prone to cause damage to the soft breast tissue.
The non surgical methods of breast enlargement are safer and convenient than surgery. However, you need to guard against fakes and tall claims of the manufacturers. It is best to research thoroughly, consult the physician before embarking on a breast enhancement regime. The proper procedure will have the gawky plain Jane blossom out into a woman of rare appeal and beauty.
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LIFE AFTER BIRTH: THE FIRST 6 WEEKS
Life after birth can be chaotic, especially if this is your first baby. Taking care of your newborn is hard work and won’t be much fun until he or she develops a personality. In case you didn’t know, a newborn doesn’t laugh or smile, it can’t play or even hold its own head up without a supporting hand. All it can do is eat, sleep, dirty diapers, pass gas, throw up and cry. Despite all of this, you will – believe it or not – love your little tot more than anything else in the world. Moreover, you will learn a lot about yourself and your partner as you both navigate through these initial days of parenthood.
Sex (or lack thereof)
You should know that sex is off-limits for at least 6 weeks after your partner gives birth. Don’t forget that she just delivered a fair-sized human through a very tiny birth canal and her body will need time to heal. Your gal’s doctor will ask to see her about six weeks after delivery for a full physical and emotional post-baby follow-up. At this visit, the doctor will check to see how her wounds are healing. If everything is good, your partner will get the green light for sex. However, this doesn’t mean that she will be as keen and eager to get back into the game. She’ll likely be tired from the whole pregnancy ordeal and from the added responsibilities of caring for a newborn. Help out as much as possible and be patient. Her interest in sex will return…just don’t push her too hard.
Sleep (or lack thereof)
The good news is that babies need a lot of sleep – about 15-16 hours a day. Unfortunately, newborns don’t have regular sleep patterns and don’t sleep for long hours at a time. This means that you won’t have regular sleep patterns either. Get used to napping throughout the day. And if that doesn’t work for you, then get used to sleep deprivation. You and your partner may feel like you are losing your minds as you quickly realize how cranky and dysfunctional you can be after several nights of disrupted sleep. Hang in there. After about 8 or 10 weeks, your baby will start to sleep through the night (approximately five consecutive hours) and your sleep-deprived, zombie-like state will be a thing of the past.
You may with to alternate night shifts to maximize the amount of uninterrupted sleep each partner gets. There really is no need for both of you to get up every time the baby needs to be fed, coddled or changed.
Caring for Your Tiny Tot
After your shopping spree for nursery items, layettes and strollers, you may have thought that you were fully ready for your baby. While these purchases were necessary, they are only a small part of what you need to survive postnatal care. There will be many new and strange things for you and your partner to learn. The ins-and-outs of feeding, bathing, diapering and umbilical cord care are in no way intuitive. Don’t get scared or discouraged by your new-found incompetence. Chances are that your partner is also incompetent in this area. It’s okay to make mistakes; every new parent does. The good news is that the parental learning curve is steep. You and your partner will quickly develop the skills needed to care for your tot. To give you a helping hand, here is are a few pointers on baby care basics:
Feeding
The first step is to decide your method of feeding – breast milk or formula? There are many benefits of breastfeeding, including nutritional and emotional advantages. Breast milk is a complete food source that contains hormones and disease-fighting compounds that are absent in formula. Nursing also helps build a special bond between mother and baby. Studies show that babies thrive on the skin-to-skin contact, cuddling and holding that occurs during breastfeeding. However, there are a variety of reasons why many women do not nurse. They may not be able to produce enough milk or they may have to return to work soon after birth and are not available to nurse the baby throughout the day. Whatever the reason, your gal should not feel guilty or uncomfortable with deciding to bottle-feed. There are many excellent formulas available which are highly nutritious. Speak with your partner’s physician or pediatrician about recommended formulas.
Regardless of your method of feeding, you should know that most newborns eat about 8 times a day (approximately every two to three hours). However, you shouldn’t try to set scheduled eating times during the first few weeks after birth. Let your baby eat whenever he or she seems hungry.
Bathing
Because your baby’s umbilical cord will need to heal, it is very important that you keep it dry to prevent infection. After about two weeks, the gross looking stump (i.e., remnants of the umbilical cord) will fall off and your baby will be left with a cute little belly button. In the meantime, take extra care not to wet the umbilical cord during bathing. The best way to do this is to give your tot sponge baths until the cord heals.
To give a sponge bath, you will need a stable surface, a soft washcloth and lukewarm water. Make sure that you test the water temperature before applying the cloth to your baby to prevent scalding him or her. Your elbow or the inner part of your wrist is a good place to test water temperature. Your hand is not a good guide since it is not very sensitive enough to tell how hot or cold the water really is. Now you can begin wiping your baby gently with the moistened washcloth. Begin by wiping your baby’s eyes (from inside to outside), ears and under arms. Then you can move onto legs and genitalia. When washing the bottom, make sure you wipe from front to back to avoid bringing any feces near the genitals. If you have had your baby boy circumcised, then you will want to speak with your pediatrician about caring for the penis while it heals.
The most important thing to remember when bathing your baby is to NEVER leave him or her along – not even for a second. Babies squirm around a lot, so you should always keep your eyes and one hand on your little one during bath time. The same rule applies when you are changing your baby’s diaper.
Changing Diapers
Don’t avoid this responsibility because it you have never changed a diaper before. Because babies pee and poop so often, you will spend a lot of time changing diapers. Take advantage of this precious time with junior. You may also have to develop silly and immature techniques to comfort your baby if he/she does not enjoy the diapering process. As ridiculous as you may feel, this is actually an important part of establishing a parent-tot bond.
While it may be dirty work, diapering is not rocket science. For easy to follow instructions, make sure to read our article on How to Change a Diaper at www.thefunkystork.com.
Caring for Yourself and Your Partner As flighty and silly as it might sound, self-care is important. Neither you nor your partner is doing your tot any good by neglecting yourselves. Try a shift-work system where you schedule an hour or two during the day where one parent will care for the baby alone. This way, the other parent can practice self-care – taking a long, warm bath, going for a run, doing yoga, reading or just going for coffee with a friend.
You will find that self-care will also help maintain civility in your relationship with your partner. By making time to do something for yourself, you will find that you won’t feel as overwhelmed by your initiation to parenthood. And don’t forget that this rule also applies to your partner. In fact, she will likely need more time for self-care than you since she will also be recovering from both 40 weeks of pregnancy and hours of childbirth. Also be aware that your partner is particularly vulnerable to postpartum depression during the first weeks after birth.
Postpartum depression, which is a more serious case of the baby blues, can begin as early as a few days after delivery. Experts don’t know the real cause of postpartum depression, but they suspect that it has something to do with changes hormonal levels. Stress, disturbed sleeping patterns and changes in daily routine can all contribute to postpartum depression. Signs and symptoms include restlessness, irritability, changes in appetite, sadness and anxiety. If your partner is experiencing any of these symptoms or if you sense that something isn’t right with the way your partner is behaving, you should consult your physician immediately. Untreated, postpartum depression can develop into postpartum psychosis, which is a serious mental illness that requires medical intervention. Both you and your partner should take her postnatal psychological state very seriously.
On a lighter note, you and your partner make an extra effort to keep the romance in your relationship. While your baby will require a lot of your time and attention, he or she will also be taking a lot of naps. Nap-time may be the perfect (and only) time for your and your partner to romance each other. Snuggle, watch a movie, make dinner or enjoy a glass of wine together. Whatever you decide to do, take a minute to set the mood with candles and relaxing music.
Another important factor to consider is how involved you want your parents or partner’s parents to be. Parental intervention can add some seriously unneeded stress to the situation and unnecessary strain on your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t reject offers to help. Being a new parent is not going to be easy and you will need all the help that you can get. Just remember to set limits and don’t be afraid to tell your relatives what you need (and don’t need). The last thing you want is to have one overbearing relatives overstepping their boundaries and overstaying their welcome.
Now What?
Things change after about 6 weeks of caring for your newborn. You and your partner will be different people, your relationship will be redefined and your tot will begin to act more like a baby than a squirmy alien. Life will get easier from here on out. Your tot will become a toddler and will begin roaming around the house. Make sure you are prepared for junior’s curiosity by baby-proofing your home early.
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The concern about safe sex has resulted in a revival of monogamy. But there is no turning back the clock. Sex is out of the closet since the free love days of the sixties. The problem with monogamy has always been boredom. The initial passion drops off pretty rapidly in a typical relationship, but not the lust of sexual desire. Eventually, the right (or wrong) set of circumstances come together and you have infidelity. It’s not that people are bad, they are just human.
To be human is to be in a body. To be in a body is to be sexual. For men being sexual means they sometimes think with what is between their legs instead of what is inside their head. But a man’s penis is single minded , ruthless and often as not, amoral. A penis knows only desire, and when the hot sexual energy is active, you might as well be dealing with an addict. At such a moment all a man can think of is how to get the next fix. At such times there are few men alive who can resist the inviting smile on a pretty woman’s face, or the parting of her legs.
Fortunately we now have Sacred Sex. Actually, Tantra has been around for thousands of years. There are those who have learned that the best sex, the kind that makes the Earth shake and the Cosmos split open, sometimes transporting the lovers right our of their bodies, is energy sex, not just friction between two people.
Tantra Sacred Sex is high energy sex. Once you have learned the practices of Sacred Sex, sex could never again become boring. This is how you keep monogamy hot. This is how you keep your lover happy at home. Sacred Sex is not your standard roll in the hay.
Sacred Sex is an art and a way of life. It involves considerable skill. Skill requires practice, and right practice leads to mastery. Mastery translates into mutual satisfaction, through and through, for both Sacred Sex partners. With Sacred Sex, every encounter is unique, new, exciting, mysterious and sometimes awesome.
With sacred high-energy sex, lovemaking can last many hours. As the hot sexual energy builds up and the lovers learn to circulate it through their bodies, they awaken their higher spiritual centers. Various degrees of satori become available. Anyone who has ever experienced even the lower states of satori will need no convincing that by comparison, ordinary happiness is, well, just ordinary.
At first the disciplined learning of the physical practices of Sacred Sex will often feel awkward, uncomfortable, and possibly scary. There almost always is a period of such frustration that the learner wants to conclude, “This doesn’t work. I can’t do it. This is too hard.” They want to quit. But with persistence and some small FAITH, they experience a breakthrough. Perhaps they suddenly “get it.” When you “get it” what seemed ridiculously complex, and impossibly difficult, becomes easy, like riding a bike. Once you can do it, you can always do it. You never forget.
The physical techniques involved include muscle contraction exercises (the cranial and sacral pumps), breathing techniques, learning to stay relaxed under the influence of intense sexual stimulation, and learning to stay fully present in the moment. You have to keep your attention in the same place for more than a few seconds. It helps if you throw in some knowledge of the man’s prostate gland, a bit of acupressure to help move blocked energy, and emotional release techniques to unlock feelings. If you also add in a healthy dose of respect, lots of playfulness, a bit of surrender and letting go, your life will never be the same. Men won’t need Viagra any time soon - guaranteed.
