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The debate in many towns continues throughout this country about who should hold the responsibility of educating young people about sex and sexuality. On one side of the spectrum there are those who believe that parents and only parents should be teaching such sensitive and value-fill information to kids. On the other side, there are those who say that not enough education is being done in the home and that the schools need to step up and do the right thing by kids. To further the debate and increase its complexity is the question about what exactly kids need to know and when. President Bush has issued his own view on the matter by granting government funding for those schools and programs that provide “abstinent only” education, meaning that there is no discussion about anything but abstaining from sex until marriage. Many people believe, and most research proves, that this message severely short changes children and could potentially set them up for making bad and or even life threatening decisions. Many parents that I talk to believe in comprehensive education (talking about all aspects of sex and sexuality including abstinence), and are always comforted to hear that research is firm in showing that kids want to hear it from their parents and often make better choices when they have had those parental conversations. But…..parents as sex educators…. This prospect for some is almost as frightening as the concept of kids having sex. Take it from me; it doesn’t have to be frightening. There is so much information available that anyone, even parents, can do a great job. There are just a few things to keep in mind in order to be successful. A. Be honest and open. The rule is that if a kid asks a question, he got the idea from somewhere and needs to have an age appropriate response. Ignoring the question or telling a child that he/she shouldn’t be asking about such things sends the message that certain questions are off limits and they will take those questions elsewhere, school friends for example, who don’t always have the correct answers or have the family values that you would want articulated in mind. Keep in mind the "age appropriate" part of this tip. As parents we don't want our kids to know to much to soon, but developmentally, they may be more advanced and ready to hear more than you think. If you aren't sure, look it up. B. It is ok to share your values and morals and what you expect for your family. I think that often parents feel like they can’t express their own expectations for their children when they educate about sexuality. You can talk about methods of pregnancy and disease prevention at the same time that you are talking about abstinence and relationship building. One is not exclusive of the other. C. It is also ok to set limits and boundaries where you need. Talking about a penis in the middle of the grocery store is not appropriate. Those types of situations can easily be handled by telling a child that his or her question is valid and important, but would be much better dealt with at home. The thing to remember here is that you must go back to your child with the question when you said you would. Thinking that your child will just forget and you’ll be off the hook does nothing for your credibility. And trust me, your kids will not forget, they will just remind you that you forgot when it suits their needs. D. Often times a parent will get a question about a topic or a situation that they are not comfortable with or have very little information about. It is critical for parents to know and believe that they do not have to be experts in sex education. They must be able to, however, know their limits and know where to get the resources they need to refer their children for the right answers. It is also ok to admit to your child that you aren’t the best person to talk about this topic, but that you know the person who is. E. As difficult as it may be, it is also important to completely understand what your child is asking and why he/she is asking the question. I heard a story once that a little girl asked her Dad what secs was. Hearing this, Dad automatically assumed that she was asking about sex and went into his whole birds and bees lecture. When he was finished he asked his daughter why she had asked the question. The young daughter stated that mom said that dinner would be done in a couple of secs. She just wanted to know what that meant. Clarifying the question is vital to making sure that you are answering their questions thoroughly and completely. F. Bone up on your own education. It is not enough that your children know about the latest method of birth control, you should also know. Know what it is that kids are talking about and thinking about when it comes to sexuality. Go to teen websites, read teen magazines, have conversations with your kids. The more information you have the better you can educate your kids. G. Take advantage of teachable moments. Kids won’t always want to talk to their parents. Especially if you haven’t set up your home environment this way. So you may have to bring up a subject out of the blue. Use situations that you see on television shows or articles that you have read to get kids opinions. Ask them what they think. Share with them what you think and why. For example, you are watching the latest episode of The Bachelor. Ask you child how they feel about having intimate relationships with so many people in such a short time. Discuss the messages that you think the show sends, find out what messages your child is receiving. How do they feel about group dates? Anything to open up those lines of communication. So, what do you do when the big day comes and your child asks you a tough question? You can start by using the C.A.L.M. method of answering. C- Clarify the question. Ask the child why the question is being asked. Where did the topic come up? What does the child know about the topic or what does he/she think the answers are. This will definitely make sure that you are staying on the right track. A- Answer the question basically. I like to think about building blocks when answering tough questions. You start with the most basic answer and then build on that answering from the next level and so on. Try to avoid the tendency to lecture. Kids, especially young ones, rarely listen to a long explanation; they only are listening for they think they want to hear. This could become problematic in that kids will not hear the correct answer or they will interpret incorrectly what you have said. L- Listen to your child response. By answering basically you allow your child to let you know if he/she got the complete answer they were looking for. If they ask you another question, you know you need to go to the next building block. Don’t forget to watch for body language too. Some children may not have the words to ask more questions. But you know your child and you will know when his body language shows that he isn’t clear or in completion with your answer. M- Motivate your child to continue to feel comfortable to ask more questions. Letting kids know that you are a safe person to come back to and that you will continue to answer their questions will keep them doing so. We all want to do what is best for our kids, and for most of us, their safety is priority one. Use these tips to approach sexuality education in your own home with confidence! enlargment penis pill vimax best penile enlargment pills penis elargement system penis enargement result penis elargement technique penis enargement surgery cost penile enlargement fact homemade penis enargement plus review vig rx
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As we human beings have changed and evolved over our thousands of years of recorded history so have our attitudes and expressions of all things sexual. The only thing that hasn’t changed much is society’s desire to exercise a certain amount of control over an individual’s sexual behavior. Whether it be through church or state, educational institutions or popular media of the time, there have been rules and regulations, views and taboos about what we should do sexually, how we should do it, who we should do it with and even how we should think about doing it. BODY PARTS A particular area of interest, naturally, has been the body and specifically those parts that are obviously connected with sex. We’ve alternately hidden and displayed, worshipped and derided male and female genitalia. In most non-Christian cultures there were gods and goddesses of power and fertility with exaggerated genitals. Some cultures liked penis gods so much they had several, for instance the ancient Greeks honored Priapus, Dionysus and Hermes. The Egyptians exalted Osiris, Bacchus was the Roman version, and Shiva reigned in India. Penis and, less commonly, vulva worship, were practiced and this was reflected in objects connected with daily living. Vases in classical Greece were decorated with phalluses. In the ruins of Pompeii penis symbols were found just about everywhere, on bowls, lamps and figurines. Pitchers with enormous penis spouts were a unique specialty of the Mochica culture of Peru. The exteriors of medieval Irish churches were adorned with sculptures of Shelah-na-Gig, a vulva icon. In Egypt enormous symbols of penis power – the obelisk – were erected all over the landscape. Smaller penis symbols in the form of amulets and bracelets were worn as magical protection against evil in ancient Rome. In fact, the English word ‘fascinate’ is derived from ‘fascinum’ the Latin word for these magic penis images. Words describing body parts vary from culture to culture and often reflect the attitudes we have about them. In India and China the penis and vagina were approached with respect and awe. Terms like Jade Flute, Arrow of Love, Ambassador, Warrior for the penis and Valley of Joy, Ripe Peach, Lotus Blossom, Enchanted Garden for vagina were used. In the English language however, words are much more likely to be discourteous: dick, tool, meat, dong and pussy, crack, slit. Cock and prick are two of the longest-standing terms for penis in English. Prick was actually a pet name up until the seventeenth century when times became much more prudish and prick gradually became ostracized. Now it’s used not as a term of endearment but of scorn. Cock, another penis word, comes from the name for the male barnyard fowl but in the late seventeenth century uptight early Americans were so offended by this that they began calling the bird rooster. Other common objects also had their names changed to make them more seemly: haycock turned into haystack, weathercock into weathervane, and apricock into apricot. Yiddish slang words for penis include schlong, putz and schmuck. Believe it or not in 1962 comedian Lenny Bruce was arrested because he used the terms schmuck and putz in his act! When it comes to penises, many cultures have considered bigger to be better. But in classical Greece delicate and small penises were the best. Big sex organs were thought to be ‘coarse and ugly’. During this time young athletes worked out in the nude. As protection for his private parts a man pulled his foreskin over the head of his penis, tied it with a ribbon and then fastened the ribbon ends to the base of the shaft. This precursor to the modern jock strap was known as a dog knot. Other means of protecting and, in most cases, emphasizing the penis include codpieces, sheaths and even paper sculptures. Codpieces, which are brightly colored and gaily ornamented pouches for penis and testicles, were worn by Europeans over tight breeches and under short jackets during the fourteenth through sixteenth centuries. Protective and decorative penis sheaths were common among primitive societies. Made out of everything from leather and vegetable fibers to bamboo, gourds and shells these sheaths were the mainstay of a man’s wardrobe. From the ninth to the twelfth centuries Japanese men packaged their penises inside an animal shaped paper sculpture. This practice was designed to increase sexual pleasure: the penis would take on the qualities of the animal it was packed inside and the lovers would then act out fantasies stirred up by the animal package. LOOK BUT DON’T TOUCH Although we’ve been fascinated by and have focused on our genitals since time began, in many cultures there has paradoxically been a policy of look but don’t touch, at least not your own. Self-pleasuring, or masturbation, has been vilified for a number of reasons. For instance the Taoists in China condemned male masturbation to the point of ejaculation as wasteful because too much ‘yin’ or masculine energy would be lost with the expelled semen. The Christian church raised masturbation to a level of damnable sin. Penitential books published by the church during the eighth century, which outlined proscribed sexual practices and their accompanying penalties, emphasized masturbation over any other sexual offence. From the eighteenth century onward doctors and scientists joined in the battle against self-pleasuring. Leader of the pack was Swiss physician Simon Andre Tissot who in 1758 preached that masturbation would stimulate an increase in blood pressure in the head thereby damaging the nervous system and causing insanity. Other doctors quickly joined the battle, blaming masturbation for such ills as: acne, backache, blindness, constipation, epilepsy, gout, infertility, nymphomania and vomiting. These were not the opinions of a few quacks but commonly held beliefs throughout western society. From the 1850s until the 1930s thirty-three patents were issued in the U.S. to inventors of anti-masturbation devices. These painful and humiliating gadgets included such items as: spermatorrhea bandages, which bound the penis so tightly to the body that erection was not possible; a spike-lined ring which drove sharp metal points into a penis that was becoming erect; sexual armour, clothing with metal crotches which had holes through which urine could escape but which had to be unlocked at the back for defecation; the “Stephenson Spermatic Truss”, a pouch which tied the penis back and down between the legs; and a harness which would ring an alarm and give an electric shock when a penis attempted to enlarge! It wasn’t until Alfred Kinsey, in his ground-breaking research about sex that began in the 1930s, proclaimed that over 90 percent of men admitted to masturbating at least once that attitudes began to relax. SEXUAL RELATIONS Most likely because from the Neolithic period (10,000 – 4,000 BC) up until the late 17th century it was believed that men alone were responsible for producing children through the magic of their semen, women ranked second in just about everything including sex. Women were viewed as childbearers and as objects for male sexual satisfaction. Often it was not the same woman who filled both roles. In almost all cultures from ancient Egyptian, Babylonian, Greek, Indian, Asian and on, women belonged to their fathers when they were young and then to their husbands when they reached marriageable age. Their behavior, particularly sexual, was most often highly restricted. The ancient Hebrews stoned women to death for adultery. Early Romans could kill their wandering women as well. Later they were simply obliged to divorce them as were husbands in classical Greece. Europeans kept their women from straying through the use of chastity belts which first appeared there during the 12th century and became quite popular during the 1400s and 1500s. Many chastity belts were secured by padlocks, some had rigid metal bands which could be tightened or loosened depending on the mood of the husband. Ironically, it was female members of the so-called ‘oldest profession’, prostitution, who in many societies had a certain amount of freedom and even influence. In Sumerian times (2,000 B.C.) prostitutes were respectable members of the temple. Through sex with a sacred prostitute Sumerian worshippers paid homage to their gods. Part of the prostitutes’ value was that their earnings contributed substantially to the temples’ income. Temple prostitutes were common in Greece and Rome, India, and even early Christian Europe. In Avignon, France there was a church brothel where the women divided their time between servicing clients and carrying out religious duties. Top-level courtesans enjoyed a more liberated status than other women during many eras, ancient Greece, Confucian China, 15th century Rome, Louis’ France, and a few were able to become very successful women in a man’s world. They often received better education, had more social freedom and wielded influence in politics. BIRTH CONTROL For as long as people have been engaging in sex they’ve been inventing unique means of preventing it’s frequent result: pregnancy. The most commonly used form of birth control over thousands of years has been good old fashioned ‘coitus interruptus’ or pulling out before the explosion, but there have been many other most interesting approaches. The precursors of modern birth control emerged in Egypt about 300 B.C. There they used mechanical and chemical methods that foreshadow modern diaphragms, cervical caps and spermicides. Their versions included lint pads soaked in honey and acacia tips, and crocodile dung compacted with auyt-gum, both to be inserted into the vagina as a barrier to semen. Some Romans of the 4th century decided that the best way to prevent unwanted pregnancy was to diminish a wife’s desire for sexual intercourse. Specific methods included: mouse dung liniment; swallowing pigeon droppings mixed with oil and wine; or rubbing her loins with the blood of ticks off a wild black bull. Condoms began to come into their own during the eighteenth century. They were usually made of sheep gut, or sometimes fish skin and were originally introduced not for prevention of pregnancy but as a protection against syphilis. Finally, here are a few interesting tidbits of sexual history. • In the 1600s Christians who lived in Turkey had to pay a tax. Tax collectors often required people to show their circumcision in order to determine who was taxable. • John Harvey Kellogg invented corn flakes in 1898 as part of his diet for decreasing sexual desire and masturbation. • The first electrical dildo was sold in 1911. • The term homosexuality is derived not from the Latin homo, “man,” but from the Greek homos, meaning “the same”. • During the 1920s many homosexuals were given electric shock therapy to heal what was then considered a disease. It wasn’t until 1973 that homosexuality was officially removed from the American Psychiatric Association’s list of mental disorders. • Alfred Wolfram set the world kissing record in 1990 by kissing 8,001 women in 8 hours, that’s one kiss every six seconds! • Wilt (the Stilt) Chamberlain is credited with the most famous and well-used penis in sports history. He boasted of having sex with over 20,000 women. • Some male members of Australian tribes still shake each other’s penis as a ritual greeting. • More than 8,000 adult videos are produced every year. That’s almost 22 per day! • In 1999 over $4 billion was spent on phone sex, but more than 50 percent of callers didn’t pay their 900 number bill. safe penis enlargement vig rx ingredient do penis elargement pills really work truth about penis enargement vimax natural penis enlargement pills pnis enlargement excercises best pnis enlargement penis enlargment pic before and after plus review vig rx
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